The Illustrious History of The Zergidons
As told by Beastking, the Sage

Genesis
Chapter 1

1) In the beginning, Ruwbei created the heaven and the earth.

2) The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Ruwbei moved upon the face of the waters.

3) And Ruwbei said, "Let there be noobs;" and there were Myrmidons.

4) And Ruwbei saw the guild, that it was good; and Ruwbei made a tabard from their wealth.

5) And Ruwbei called those that favored him officers, and those that did not, he called centurions. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

6) And Ruwbei said, "Let there be a chat channel in the midst of the guild, and let it divide the officers from the centurions."

7) And Ruwbei made the channel, and divided the guild into those who were excluded and those who were not; and it was so.

8) And Ruwbei called the channel O-Chat. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

9) And Ruwbei said, "Let all the Myrmidons under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let them be garbed in robes of finery;" and it was so.

10) And Ruwbei called the robes Hanboks; and the gathering together of the Myrmidons called he 'Hanbok Dance Party;" and Ruwbei saw that it was good.

11) And Ruwbei said, "Let the Mages bring forth food, and portals, and Arcane Intellect, whose buffs in themselves also help Mages;" and it was so.

12) And the Mages brought forth food, and portals, and AI, and they benefited from them also; and Ruwbei saw that they were good.

13) And the evening and the morning were the third day.

14) And Ruwbei said, "Let there be factions in the firmament of Azeroth to divide the skilled players from the bads; and let there be signs, to distinguish between them;

15) and let their racial abilites help or hinder their performance upon the earth;" and it was so.

16) And Ruwbei made two great factions; the greater faction to toil unloved and outnumbered, and the lesser to attract the fourteen-year-old kiddies; he made the npcs also.

17) And Ruwbei set them in the firmament of Azeroth to give entertainment unto his guild,

18) And to war over the same three battlegrouds day in, and day out, and to divide the noobs from the elite: and Ruwbei saw that they were good.

19) And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

20) And Ruwbei said, "Let the mobs bring forth, abundantly, phatty lewtz that hath power to steal men's lives, and crafting mats that may spawn upon the earth in the open firmament."

21) And Ruwbei created great equipments, in every color that exists, which the mobs brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every resource node unto its kind: and Ruwbei saw that they were good.

22) And Ruwbei blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the slots in the character sheet, and let the resources multiply in the guild bank."

23) And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

24) And Ruwbei said, "Let the earth bring forth instances, and let them be vast;" and it was so.

25 And Ruwbei made the five-man dungeon, and the forty-man raid, and eventually the twenty-man raid: and Ruwbei saw that they were good.

26) And Ruwbei said, "Let us make a man in our image, after our likeness: and let him have dominion over the Horde, and over the Alliance, and over the npcs and the phatty lewtz, and over all of Azeroth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon it."

27) So Ruwbei created Jur in his own image; above all, created he him.

28) And Ruwbei blessed him, and Ruwbei said unto him, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the Myrmidon rogues, and over every thing that resides in the g-bank."

29) And Ruwbei said, "Behold, I have given you every npc bearing loot, which is upon the face of all of Azeroth, and every Alliance, from which ye shall earn honor points; to you they shall be for meat.

30) And for the quest 'Breaking the Keystone,' I shall slayeth Fozruk for ye and yer rogue compatriots;" and it was so.

31) And Ruwbei saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.